ANGER IS a feeling, a strong unhappy feeling of being treated unfairly. It is an uncomfortable feeling where by one can be unable to relax.
Anger being a feeling can be controlled, you can choose to control your feeling or allow your feeling control you.
The way someone responds to anger is all about the person’s mindset, the person’s environment and the person’s sense of reasoning in respect to maturity and level of exposure. It takes maturity for a husband to understand that when his wife calls him an idiot that the wife is equally calling herself an idiot for marrying an idiot because is only an idiot that will get married to an idiot. It also takes a higher level of exposure to understand that the illiterate bus conductor who calls you Ode for not alighting fast from his bus did so because he has been eaten up by frustration, so turning back to give him back his dose only denote that you down grade yourself to his level of frustration or you step up to a higher level of maturity and move on as the name calling Ode did not add nor remove any value from your personality.
Controlling anger has so much to do one a person’s level of understanding, some certain aspect of ones level of exposure, having the right mindset, possessing love and being controlled by love. Controlling anger has nothing to do with age. Controlling anger is like having control over your feeling for instance if you’re highly disciplined no matter how hungry you feel, you can never stoop low to steal food. If am right that means you can easily control hunger and not allow is to destroy your self-image, so in the same way you can equally choose to control your feeling of anger and have it not destroy your self-image.
Getting angry over a spilt milk is a total waste of precious energy which could have been invested elsewhere. Yes! The milk has been spilt is that it has been spilt there’s nothing you can do about the spilt milk to reverse it all because you have no control over it, so do you not equally have control over some certain actions and the highest you can do is to make yourself another milk, if is myself I will personally make a more quality milk this time around.
To effectively have control over anger there are some anger management courses you can opt in for but below I have some tips one can embrace to control anger and most of the tips are equally used my anger management coaches.
- Stop, stop whatever that it is making you angry, if is a discussion or argument stop it. At this point you don’t have to lose control of your fist, instead of hitting somebody you can hit the wall or blow the air
- Give yourself space from the heat of the argument, as you tried to stop what’s making you angry, get yourself out from that environment because the more you stay there the more likely you’re to lose control. You can even take a stroll, listen to good music and try refocusing your mind towards things that make you happy.
- Breathe deeply, taking a deep breathe can help you calm your nerves. Counting numbers can help you while embarking on this exercise.
- Analyze your cause of anger, when you must been in a relaxed state of mind try analyzing the cause of the problem as that will enable you to define the problem and know the cause of the outburst at times you might even realize that you were the one at fault.
- Solve and move on, if the fault is from you apologize make peace and move on, if not let the other party know where they’ve wronged you and open up to forgive them as well and move on, please this life is too short to be angry over anything.
The utmost way to have control over anger is to have self-love which will enable you to rightly place yourself in the other person’s situation and also enable you to see things from love perspective rather than from hate perspective. There various method and approaches one can use to control anger, please share what works well for you on the comment box.