This we all know has been a dreaded canker-worm that is destroying many homes, to some extent killing some of its victims. To find solution to any problem we must first of all discover the immediate cause of the problem and to get to the root of the problem lets understand what domestic violence is. When we all hear domestic violence the first thing that comes to our mind is a man beating up his wife or generally when a women is being beaten, but is good at this point to understand that domestic violence is more than beating up a woman as it involves any kind of abuse in a home. Men equally suffer domestic violence both physical, verbal, emotional and psychological abuse. This domestic violence could be on the wife, husband or children.
Violence on wives
This could be physically beating up a woman, verbally abusing her with words (most especially when she’s yet to bear fruit), it could equally involve denying her some necessary things like money for her up keep, denying her conjugal right as a wife, raping her or even cheating on her because these acts could put her in a psychological trauma thereby causing her pain and remember anything that brings pain is an abuse which is equally violence
Violence on husbands
Men also feel pain, Yes they are flesh and blood as well, some women beat up their husband, some verbally abuse them which could actually sting like that of a bee and might even lead to a counter attack, denying your husband food and sex is domestic violence, some women go to the extent of locking their husbands outside his own very house just because he returns home late, there is no violence as violent as making your husband father another man’s child without his consent. All these actions cause pain for men as it is an abuse which makes it violence.
SOLUTIONS TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AMONG COUPLES
When you as an individual don’t love yourself please avoid entering into a relationship not to talk of marriage. As a sane person avoid people who don’t love themselves for a relationship because Nemo dat quoad non habet. How do you expect someone who doesn’t love him/herself to love you? Way out, learn to love yourself so that you can be able to love others.
Both parties should be mature in reasoning as this will enhance self-control and promote understanding, if as a woman your mouth stings like bee kindly work on yourself and learn to control your tongue to avoid using hurtful words on your man that could make him err in bit to silence the tap. As a man Never raise your hand to beat a woman because everything about her is burden and pain already that’s why she cries when she makes her hair even during retouching some still cry, ovulate, menstruate, child birth, some even during sex and many more seriously as a man you can’t withstand being a woman for a single day.
Abolish selfishness, learn to understand that the other party also have feelings and don’t kill it, that’s why I will tell you to do unto your spouse what you will like them to do unto you.
Avoid listening to third parties which could be friends or siblings, if you’re having sex with your spouse can you allow third party? No right? So don’t involve third party in decision making concerning you two rather invite God. When a third party brings complain to you about your spouse always hear from your spouse first before drawing a conclusion. Abraham and Sarah did not invite third part likewise Isaac and Rebeca and there was no record of violence in their marriage.
Assumption they say is the surest route to disaster, we are all humans sometimes we go off chain, it is your duty as a good partner to ask your spouse reasons behind every ambiguous action to avoid misinterpretation and if you sense that your actions are going ambiguous draw yourself closer and clarify things up with your lovely spouse. Be a good listener above all.
Give in your best to make your spouse happy remember they left every other person in the whole world and choose to be with you. Men please kill that mentality in you in case you have it, of thinking that you’re doing a woman a favor by marrying her. Treat her very well because marrying you is a life sacrifice for her and holy book instructs you to treat her well. Women be submissive to your husbands.
Finally if you feel that you can’t condone your spouse any longer you both should seek counsel, in worst cases better let them go rather than inflicting pains on them. I could go on and on but solutions to domestic violence is so numerous and I will like you to give us your own solution and opinion just for us to learn. In-laws please avoid putting sand sand for another man’s garri.